Deeds, Not Words

Posted on September 22, 2009


About two weeks ago, my wife found a lump. The doctors haven’t been particularly helpful or informative, but that’s a whole different post. She had a needle biopsy this morning, and we’ll know something definite by the end of the week.

Naturally, we told some people. We needed the support and the love. I faced my own mortality years ago, in the First Gulf War. I was younger then than my wife is now. I can tell you that facing her mortality is completely different, but this isn’t so much about us.

Two groups we told are very close to us. One offered their prayers, and got the church prayer circle behind us. The other did the same, and then hand delivered flowers to our house. The first went out of town. The second calls, checks in on Facebook, and is gently present without being intrusive.

Standing there, holding the flowers in my hands, I thought about the difference between deeds and words. It meant a tremendous amount to me that Jo meant so much to someone that they would buy her flowers and bring them to our house, with a card. They didn’t just say they cared, they showed it.

I know some people are far, far away and that limits what they can do. I know not everyone can afford to take action. I appreciate love and prayers, believe me. I’m not disparaging anyone. What I am saying is that the experience renewed my resolve to demonstrate my feelings, and I encourage you to do the same. It can make a difference.